The process of conditioning a Way of Life

This year has brought so much growth to my heart just in the few short months that we have already rushed through. Though most of the growth has been a direct result of what I have been doing over the past year, I feel like this year things that I have been wrestling and toiling over for quite some time are finally starting to make their way into the way I live my life.

I have been on a journey for quite some time now uncovering and engaging my heart with the Sermon the Mount principles in Matthew 5, 6 and 7. Is this just another sermon, pretty words, or is there weight to the first words of Jesus public ministry? As I have spent quite a bit of time digging through resources, praying through scripture, and actually taking a class on the Sermon on the Mount last semester, I keep coming to the conclusion in my heart that these words are like Gold. Jesus is speaking directly to the heart that is longing, to the heart that is aching for more in life, to the one that is not finding satisfaction in anything he is puts his hand to, there is an invitation. Will you love me well? This is the pathway to eternal life, this is the pathway to blessedness true satisfaction, embracing the aches and pains of the heart.

Jesus completely destroys the concept of living a life that is righteous to inherit the kingdom. He shows us that if we are living to check off the list of good behavior, we will not be with Him for eternity. The only thing that matters is the posture of the heart, not the track record of how many times we have failed, or so we thought, got it right. He is examining and looking into the human heart saying, "Do you love me? Then obey my commands."

There has been so much pain in this process, peering into the wretchedness of my own heart. My sinful actions are only a manifestation of the thoughts and intents that are taking place in my heart. Even if I can manage to keep things 'together' on the outward appearance, have I dealt with the root of the issue? Jesus redefines the outlook on sin when He gives the six 'You have heard it said' statements in Matthew 5:21-48 He tells us, it is not enough to simply control those outward actions, you must engage with the sinful thought patterns and start pulling them out by the root. If there is lust in your heart, it is adultery. If there is hatred in your heart, it is murder. The only reason it doesn't immediately come forth manifesting itself as murder or adultery is because we fear to much the consequences that we would face. But in the secret of our heart, if no one was watching, and we let those thoughts come in to reality, what would come out? Essential, just because we haven't committed the act of murder or adultery doesn't mean we wouldn't do it were we placed in a situation of power to carry it out! Scary! I want to pull these inward, self seeking, self glorifying thoughts out by the root. At the core of my being, I am unbearably wicked.

This is the journey we must all take. This is the process that we will be surrendered to for the remainder of our days here on the earth until our Lord returns. I want to be given to the marathon pace of surrender.

Isaac