Explaining

The past couple of weeks has been a flurry, so much that the Lord has brought to the forefront of my heart, yet I feel like I have had so little time to actually process these heart movements.

A couple of weeks ago our community at the House of Prayer was challenged by a word that John Mulinde shared with us concerning living rightly before a Holy God who sees and knows every thought and intent of our heart.

After hearing John's message, my heart was troubled with areas of my life that I had left untouched. I was uneasy about areas of my life that I had simply become ok with letting them be stagnant. Our God is a jealous God, He desires all of my heart and affections. The encouraging side of John's message was that I felt as though in the last year of my life I have been in the process of aligning my heart and mind in such a way that all my thoughts and intents would come into alignment with His. Easier said then done, but I want to be made completely His. As John touched on, this is a way of living, not a one time encounter or repentance session.

In my own heart the Lord brought to the surface areas of seeking the approval of men and building up my own name. Facebook is stealing the identity of this generation. I was building a name for myself, and virtually creating my own kingdom on facebook. Though I wouldn't spend long periods of time on there, it was always something in the back of my mind, looking to post that next thing that would bring more attention or approval to myself. It was becoming an idol before the Lord, so, it had to go. Nothing should stand between me and my relationship with the Lord. If anything starts consuming my heart or mind more than the amount of time I spend thinking about Jesus, the one I love, then it has taken the place of God in my life.

So, I'm now venturing out into life facebookless. It's been about a week and a half since I deleted it, and I feel more and more free with each day, SERIOUSLY! Love you people.

Isaac

The process of conditioning a Way of Life

This year has brought so much growth to my heart just in the few short months that we have already rushed through. Though most of the growth has been a direct result of what I have been doing over the past year, I feel like this year things that I have been wrestling and toiling over for quite some time are finally starting to make their way into the way I live my life.

I have been on a journey for quite some time now uncovering and engaging my heart with the Sermon the Mount principles in Matthew 5, 6 and 7. Is this just another sermon, pretty words, or is there weight to the first words of Jesus public ministry? As I have spent quite a bit of time digging through resources, praying through scripture, and actually taking a class on the Sermon on the Mount last semester, I keep coming to the conclusion in my heart that these words are like Gold. Jesus is speaking directly to the heart that is longing, to the heart that is aching for more in life, to the one that is not finding satisfaction in anything he is puts his hand to, there is an invitation. Will you love me well? This is the pathway to eternal life, this is the pathway to blessedness true satisfaction, embracing the aches and pains of the heart.

Jesus completely destroys the concept of living a life that is righteous to inherit the kingdom. He shows us that if we are living to check off the list of good behavior, we will not be with Him for eternity. The only thing that matters is the posture of the heart, not the track record of how many times we have failed, or so we thought, got it right. He is examining and looking into the human heart saying, "Do you love me? Then obey my commands."

There has been so much pain in this process, peering into the wretchedness of my own heart. My sinful actions are only a manifestation of the thoughts and intents that are taking place in my heart. Even if I can manage to keep things 'together' on the outward appearance, have I dealt with the root of the issue? Jesus redefines the outlook on sin when He gives the six 'You have heard it said' statements in Matthew 5:21-48 He tells us, it is not enough to simply control those outward actions, you must engage with the sinful thought patterns and start pulling them out by the root. If there is lust in your heart, it is adultery. If there is hatred in your heart, it is murder. The only reason it doesn't immediately come forth manifesting itself as murder or adultery is because we fear to much the consequences that we would face. But in the secret of our heart, if no one was watching, and we let those thoughts come in to reality, what would come out? Essential, just because we haven't committed the act of murder or adultery doesn't mean we wouldn't do it were we placed in a situation of power to carry it out! Scary! I want to pull these inward, self seeking, self glorifying thoughts out by the root. At the core of my being, I am unbearably wicked.

This is the journey we must all take. This is the process that we will be surrendered to for the remainder of our days here on the earth until our Lord returns. I want to be given to the marathon pace of surrender.

Isaac

Semester Recap

There's been no shortage of things to write home about over the last few weeks, only a shortage of time! Finished up my third semester of school at the Forerunner Music Academy here in south Kansas City. I can't even believe how fast time continues to fly by, in a few months I will have been in Kansas City for two years! Almost doesn't seem real.

My classes finished up Friday last week, I leave to go home and spend time with family this Friday. I've purposed for this week to be a time of spending as much time in the prayer room I can each day so that I can journal and process all of the things the Lord has been speaking to me about over the course of the past 4 months.

I had two different theology classes over the semester, each a quarter long. The first class I took was "The Hymns of Revelation" which is all of the songs from the book of Revelation. Studying context to them, how they apply, and when we'll be singing them. It was an excellent class. The second class, which was my favorite so far, was "Life of David." Such a encouraging class, to study the life of David, to look into the seasons of his life, and find myself in the story! We had an excellent teacher, he has been specifically studying the life of David for the past 10 years. So he knows his stuff =] One of the most encouraging things about the class was the realness of David as a man. He was a real man, that really had alot of issues, and the Lord still used Him powerfully as king over Israel.

David, receiving the promise of being anointed king at 17 years old, wasn't made king until age 30! Going through early promotion with his victory over Goliath, being brought into king Saul's courts, being loved by Saul as one of his own sons. Not long after Saul rejecting David and trying to take his life. David would spend the next seven years of his life being chased through caves and dessert by 3,000 men. Talk about mid life crisis! This wasn't two months, six months, or even a year, but SEVEN YEARS! The Lord's leadership in training David was quite a bit different than any of us would have thought, or chosen. After the years of running, David is made king over Gibeah, which is only a twelfth of the kingdom. He knew the promise over his life was to be king over all of Israel, his mighty men knew the promise and tried to get him to take the throne by force. All of Israel knew the promise over his life, but David knew that the Lord would be the one to move him into his secondary calling as king over Israel. David stayed in the partial fulfillment of the promise, faithfully serving Gibeah for seven years! What a testimony of his faith in the Lord. Why was David able to be steadfast in his love for the Lord through those years? Because David knew that the promise to be king over Israel was secondary to his PRIMARY calling in life, to love the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is the truth that carried David through the roughest places of life. Finally at age 30 when David was anointed king over Israel in the city Jerusalem, he was able to serve faithfully as a king because he had some of the most intense training. A lifetime of being refined by life circumstances, and learning how to love God well through those times. This was his identity, a man after God's own heart.

Both of those classes I had twice a week. I also had a class studying the Sermon on the Mount, which was only once a week over the course of the entire semester. I'm not sure if I have words for this class at the moment. To much conviction and heart issues to like it. When studying the Sermon on the Mount the hardest part is that just studying it demands change in your lifestyle. So I was in constant place of processing the concepts of this class and categorizing them in my heart. This is the class that none of us will ever graduate from. I'll be working on this the rest of my life.

There's alot going on. Hannah is here in KC with me for a few days, so it's been nice showing her my places that I like, and she's gotten to meet some of 'my people.' It has been a fun few days. I'll check back in when I know which way my head is screwed on.

Grace and Peace.

One Thing Necessary

So it's been a hard week. Why? There was nothing out of the ordinary that would throw me for a loop. It actually seemed like my schedule this past week if anything should have been a refreshing week for me. So why, now Saturday is here, and there is a distinguished taste of frustration and tension in my heart? I don't understand. Throughout my day today I kept trying to figure it out, "Lord, I do like You don't I? You really like me don't You? So then what's the deal with...this." No ability to focus on homework, no motivation to cook real food, no desire to go be spontaneous. What gives. Finally I sat down to start working on homework, (because it is now imperative that we start making progress at this point since we have put it off for so long) my first assignment just so happens to be a scripture meditation. Can't really complain about having to pray about a portion of scripture for homework. If anything you would think that it would actually be easier. But, simply of the fact that it is "homework" puts up this invisible wall of dread. As I begin to write out the verse, and start talking to the Lord about it, there is still that definitive nagging in my heart. I stop. "What Lord?" I've finally reached the point of desperation. "Why can't I just focus on doing something for a few minutes?!!" Nothing. "Gah!" Then, I slowly start getting this familiar feeling overcoming my heart. Heartache. But with the heartache I seem to hear the Lord saying, "I miss You."

Then everything starts to make sense in my heart. I hadn't even been able to function in simple day to day obligations over the past few days because of this weird funk I'd been in. I had been a criminal of stealing away the time. I had actually more free time then I normally do over the past week, and somehow I managed to avoid Him. I kept tricking myself into thinking that I had been spending time with Him, when the reality was that I kept tacking my "quiet time" on with activities I was doing. "Lord, come work on my project with me." Or, "Lord I'm going to clean my room, do You want to join me?" Not that He didn't enjoy spending those times with me. But I had neglected "Our time." I replaced the time that me and Him spend fellowshipping together, with activities and inviting Him to come along. Imagine doing that to a close friend. A scheduled time that you and your best friend were going to spend together each week, or even day. Each week/day as that time came around, right before you were supposed to hangout you call your friend and say, "Hey, I want to still hangout with you, but do you mind if we run to walmart and pick up some groceries, I really need to get a few things, and we can still hangout together." Then the next week/day comes and you need to go to the bank. The next week/day comes and you have to clean your room. The next week/day comes and you have to fold laundry. Now your friend probably wouldn't mind after the first few times, but after it became a constant thing where you no longer just spent time alone talking, but rather always were 'doing' something together, I think your friend would get a little frustrated in time. The problem is how often do we do this to the Lord? I know that this past week it was the case for me. "Hey do you mind if we can just do this real quick and talk along the way?" He smiles, being so patient with me and responds, "No, I don't mind." I don't think He ever minds. But there comes a point that He knows, and I know, that my heart will no longer be able to operate in a flowing relationship with Him if I don't take time to purposefully do nothing but just sit, and talk to Him while accomplishing seemingly nothing. It will turn into a superficial relationship if we continue to spend all of our time together 'doing' instead of simply 'being' and getting to know the movements of each others hearts.

"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42

One thing is necessary. Mary had chosen in the midst of the busyness of life to sit at the feet of Jesus, seemingly accomplishing nothing, as Martha was slaving away making provisions for the guests, but Jesus says that Mary had chosen the good part. The things that Martha was doing weren't 'bad', but they had caused her to become, anxious and troubled about many things. As Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, she became a friend of Jesus. Her heart became connected to His. She became one of Jesus' closest friends. What many had looked on and deemed as foolishness of Mary, Jesus actually was the most deeply moved by. Mary got it. There truly is only One thing necessary, to sit at the feet of Jesus, spending time with Him, and getting to know His heart. This will sustain our hearts through the midst of any challenge we may face. Even if it is the challenge of the mundane rigors of life, if we have put in the time waisting away at the feet of Jesus, our hearts will be unmoved.

What a Blur!

This past few weeks has flown by. My schedule has once again probably gotten the better of me. Focusing on getting different things done, juggling between photography, school, and relationships has been enough to make my head spin! Lucky for me, it stayed on straight. This past weekend headed home of course for my sisters wedding. Ended up missing my flight Thursday night, which we won't talk about, so took a 5am flight out of KC and got into Flint around noon on Friday. Worked on wedding stuff all day Friday, Saturday had the grand day of marriage. Got home late that night after cleaning everything up, and then had Sunday to hangout with family and try to have some down time. It was a blur of a trip home, but never much needed. I hadn't seen family since early July, so it was due time to see em' people.

Getting back to KC early Monday morning, I jumped right back into my busy schedule here. On top of my already fairly busy schedule, there was a team from Poland visiting, so I spent all my spare time visiting with them. Doing my best to engage in conversation with my less than poor Polish. They were gracious with me, and did their best to include me. But it really was a amazing time of building friendship with these Poles that share the same hunger for the Lord. My heart was stirred to give myself to the study of the language all the more. What a difficult language it is. But it is exciting as the Lord continues to open up opportunity with this nation, I may quite possibly be visiting in this next year a few of the Houses of Prayer that are in the beginning stages.

There seems to be to much traffic in my heart to be able to narrow out one consistent theme. Other than I have to trust that the Lord is the one in control of the times and seasons of my life. I have to release my trust into His hands. He's got good ideas, me, not so much.

A Marathon!

So maybe this was one of those things you do once, realize you've made a bad decision, and never do it again. But maybe, just maybe there was a strange seed planted within me to rise to the challenge again.

Way back in May of this year me and my friend Mark, who happens to be my best at the moment, got some crazy idea to run the Kansas City Marathon. For the past 3 years I've run a 10 mile race each summer, and a few 10k's here and there. But entering into this summer I finally felt like there was a desire to reach for something that would really challenge my physical frame to the max. So, I guess that meant a Marathon. Something I had toyed with the idea of doing, but never really seriously considered. As the summer progressed and the miles of training kept increasing running became more natural. It was odd how at the beginning of the summer a 8 mile run was kind of a big deal, and by September a 7 mile run was a regular workout for me. Through the journey of training I could my body slowly making a transition of becoming used to the long endurance runs I was taking weekly. Through all of the miles though there was a simultaneous training taking place. The training of my spirit, mind, and soul. To tell the honest truth I've never actually enjoyed running. Still don't actually. Playing soccer my whole life growing up it's always been a form of discipline, sooo, now we're going to do it for fun? But what actually sucked me in to continue growing to do more and more miles was the fact that while running I would spend the most time alone with the Lord other than any other time during me day. When I was running, it was just me and Him. It was a spiritual journey of getting to know the one that formed my body, and fashioned me in a way so that I could run. My absolute favorite run throughout all of my trainings was a 8 mile run in a park. Me and Mark started that run together, the clouds were kind of closing in, and there was a light drizzle as we started. Right as we were getting to our turn around spot for the out and back the heavens opened up and it began to pour on us. As we made our turn to start back 4 miles me and Mark separated in our pace, so I was by myself for the last 4 miles. On the trail that day running through the woods with rain pouring so thick you could barely see, thunder and lightning flashing around me, I had one of the most powerful encounters of knowing the Lord as my protector. Though the storm was raging all around me, my heart was secure in the one that knew my frame. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 The marathon training was one of the most intense spiritual refining things I have ever done in my life. It challenged my faith with every run I took. I thought it was slightly funny that Mark's bib number was "666" I guess out of 11,000 runners, someone has to take the number, might as well be someone who can handle it! The week of the marathon it seemed like everything was working against me. In the midst of trying to hydrate all week and be on top of stretching and getting my body ready, I had probably one of the busiest weeks yet this semester! As well wrestling with finances at the time, I wasn't able to buy groceries and get the nutrition I was needing leading up to the race. But once again, the Lord showed Himself faithful and provided for my every need! It was as if the Lord gave me one last training seminar I hadn't quite planned on. "Will you trust me Isaac to provide for ALL your needs?" Finally race day arrived, and so we made our way downtown Kansas City Saturday morning at 6:30am with 11,000 other runners! We were packed into the city street like a can of sardines! People lined up in the street shoulder to shoulder for about 3 city blocks! Truly it was the most fun race I have ever been apart of! Me and Mark decided at the beginning of the race that we wanted to run the whole thing together. We felt good up until about mile 21, and then my left hamstring cramped. So we stopped and stretched it out real quick, started running again, it cramped again. Stretched it, kept running, then my right hamstring went out. So, pretty much the last 5 miles ended up being the hardest 5 miles I've ever done! The last half mile coming up on the final stretch me and Mark gave it everything we had left to not let anymore grandma's pass us in the slow lane. As we made the turn onto Grand Blvd to run the last .2 miles, we see the thousands of people lining the street, but just as we turn the corner Amazing Grace starts being played on the bagpipes blasting through the streets of Kansas City! It was such a strong testimony to my heart, we weren't late in finishing the race, we were right on time. God is never late in His provision, HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT ON TIME! With that last boost we cruised our way towards the finish line. The marathon pace. I truly believe the Lord was working in me the stamina to get a picture of what it looks like to run the spiritual race with that marathon pace! He's teaching me to run with endurance. As long as you keep running, as long as you finish. You win. If you don't quite, if you don't surrender to the challenges within the race, you win. Even if you're crawling. You're winning! Don't let the meat wagon carry you off, another victim caught in self anguish and frustration. Keep running. Keep fighting.

Love Perfected in Us.

Lately I've been studying the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, 6, and 7, seems like the more I see the commands that Jesus gives the more I realize the depths of requirement that the gospel demands. Jesus gives the constitution of the kingdom of heaven in the Sermon on the Mount. He gives the values on which the kingdom is built. These are the guidelines by which we are actually required to live if we say that we love Him. "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome." 1 John 5:3 Truly if we are professing that we love Him, then we would follow the commands of His Word. Love demands a response, not a response out of duty, but truly out of a heart that desires to love well. It's so easy to serve those you love.

It's important to know that even as we do our best to follow His commands that we will fail. For the rest of our life we will come short in at least one of the commands. But even in our failings He thoroughly enjoy us! He's not disappointed when we fall short in the process of walking out His commands. The very fact that we are engaging our heart to reach for obedience is a testimony of our love to Him. Pursuing righteousness is not a normal response of the heart. Being poor in spirit is not a natural characteristic that any human is born with. So as we step forward to do our best to walk out His commands, know that just the fact that we are reaching moves His heart!

This has been the picture that has been likened to in my head the last week as I've been thinking about this. A husband that loves His wife should buy his wife flowers. But not out of motivation of duty or obligation. If the husband came home from a long day of work one day and gave his wife a big bouquet of flowers and told her that on the way home from work he felt like he needed to be a good husband and buy her flowers, she might be a little upset and feel like the husband was trying to "buy" her love. Not only that, but that the sole motivation of his buying the flowers came from a heart of obligation and not out of his genuine love for his wife.

But lets say this husband is deeply in love with wife, and on the way home from work his heart is moved as he thinks about his wife, and how much he loves her. He decides out of a demonstration of his love for his wife he wants to stop and pick some wild flowers for her. As he gets out of the car and walks out into the field, he sinks a full 6 inches into deep mud. Now his feet and pants are dirty and caked with mud. Determined to get his wife a beautiful arrangement of flowers he continues to get the flowers he needs. After picking enough flowers to make a bouquet he turns to walk back to his car, but as he turns slips and falls flat on his face in the mud crushing the flowers underneath himself. Finally getting home he walks in the house all muddy and dirty, holding in his hand a pathetic looking wild-flower bouquet. But he looks at his wife and says, "I got you some flowers because I love you." Grinning ear to ear with dirt gritted in his teeth. His wife looks at him and loves him in return despite his fairly beat up self and poor bouquet. What a weak offering, but so sincere. She fully loves her husband and loves that fact that he was thinking of her through the whole process of "trying" to get flowers for her. She sees his love, even though he feel short in walking out the offering part perfectly, the very fact that he was making an effort out of a heart that loves, is so beautiful in her sight.

If we try to walk out the commands of Jesus from a heart that feels obligation of the Christian faith to follow some guidelines, what makes us any different than the man that wanted to buy the flowers for his wife because he had a duty to fulfill? What makes us any different then the pharisees? Jesus spoke forth the commands out of a heart that loved us completely, loved us so much that He desired to give us a picture of what it looks like to love Him in return. Before we had His commands we didn't even know what it looked like to love Him! When we see the commands of Jesus, when we connect with the fact of wanting to walk out His commands because we truly do love Him. Then the feeling of obligation begins to fade away. We walk in obedience from a heart that longs to love Him well. That even in the journey of trying to walk out His commands and falling, like the husband, deep into the mud, He sees the reach of our heart to love Him, and He calls our weak offering real love.

His commands are in no way burdensome when we realize that walking out His commands is loving Him. "but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him, whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." 1 John 2:5-6

I'm so convinced that He is Good

There was once nothing. But there was no lack. The Father set with the Son and Spirit, communing and daily being the delight of one another. It was only the Godhead, three in one, glorifying and loving another, yet in the same, still one. There was a unanimous move on the heart of God, among the three of them that is. A fleeting desire. A passion to love. Love so undefined, so untouchable. Love that was complete. Out of the burning desire there came forth words, "Let there be light." And there was light. The desire of the heart of the Lord became manifest as He painted, crafted, and established what we now know as the universe. Hanging the stars in the heavens, but not overlooking one flower of the field. It was good in His sight. He must have thought, "This is a suitable and right environment to place the desire of my heart in the midst." So from the dust, from something He already created, the dirt of the earth, He created once more and brought forth His image bearer. He brought forth the one He desired. "This one will rule with me. This one I will enjoy and be enjoyed by." Man was the desire of the creators heart made manifest. What does love look like? A creator who desired, therefore out of the overflow of His heart fashioned something perfect so He could love them. But giving the free will of man to choose for themselves to love Him in return. Would they be voluntary lovers? Would man know that He loved them? By looking around them at all of creation would their hearts see all of the works of His fingers and know that more than all of these things that they were the overflow of the Creators heart? Would there be doubt in man's heart about how their creator felt about them? Oh, but how could they doubt His love when observing all His many demonstrations of love!

Think on the story of creation from His perspective. He desired, therefore He created. You and I weren't some random life that dropped out of nowhere onto the earth. He knew You and I in our mother's womb. He fashioned and formed each one of us perfectly, exactly the way He wanted us. To call something about ourselves ugly, or unattractive is actually to disagree with His creative expression. He doesn't mess up on people when He creates. He fashions them just the way He wants them. How could we ever doubt His love for us?! I am confident that my Father in heaven who fashioned and formed me is for me. He really does like me. All the accusations of the enemy that would say otherwise, I bring into the light of truth, He desired me, therefore He created me. He didn't with hold anything from me when He formed me. He gave me the right amount of gift mix, the right amount of physical ability, He gave me a creative expression. The whole package He gave me, He gave me specifically to cause me to Love Him more in every circumstance of life. I'm so convinced that He is good!

I Remember.

As of lately I've been journalling more and more. Writing down prayers, thoughts, or different revelations that the Lord has revealed to my heart lately. But mostly, I find that my journalling is mostly talking to the Lord about His heart for me. This has been one of the most beneficially things that I've taken time to do over the past couple weeks. As I'm talking to the Lord, my kind Father, I'm asking Him questions, making declarations from His Word what He says about me. I still haven't fully comprehended (nor do I think I ever will) the ability of the human mind to so easily forget about all of the Lord's goodness in my life. My forgetfulness is about as faithful as the morning sunrise. Each morning as I start my day, it's like I have to jumpstart my heart to remember. I have to declare His loving kindness over myself daily, otherwise my thoughts and beliefs about Him become skewed so very quickly. I think thats why David seems so repetitive in the Psalms, because as He was making declarations to the Lord about His character, but he was also making a declaration over his own soul, body, and mind. "Look at Him! In all of His glory! Look at Him in all of His splendor! Look at Him in the way He deals with me mercifully everytime! Look at Him O my soul, and know His kindness! He is good to those who love Him. He is slow to anger, full of mercy, abounding in love! There is none like Him! O glorify Him my spirit, soul, and mind! For He alone is deserving of all my affections! Praise Him in His excellent wisdom, exalt Him for His perfect leadership. Truly the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places! Father You have given me all I need for life and godliness." Even in my times of journalling each day I've picked up on David's habit of making declarations and prayers to the Lord, but also that they would be ever over me and upon me as a reminder of the Lord's great Faithfulness in past seasons. He is faithful everytime. He is gracious everytime. He is so committed to the process of seeing our hearts through the journey of maturing. Even more than we are =] That is encouraging to my heart. That as devoted as I am to seeing His righteousness perfected in me, that He has even more zeal about it, and knows exactly the process it will take to get me there. Good and Good.

Blessings,

Isaac

A Challenge

It's funny how us as people can so easily get stuck in a routine of life of just going through the motions. Do the same weekly agenda's and mundane business, and feel as if we are being stretched and grown. Not to say that the Lord doesn't use the routine things of life to teach us valuable lessons. But it is just amusing to me how we get so used to our schedule, and if someone interrupts it how easy we are to get upset and be thrown off. Entering this fall semester at IHOPU I knew what I was signing up for, but I don't know how ready I was to give myself fully to the requirements when they changed outside of my expectations. We often times as people have a set mindset of what we think something is going to look like, and if somehow that expectation doesn't line up we so quickly disengage our heart and look for the easy way out. (Well, I know that is a response my heart so often gives). As of lately through the midst of all the business in my schedule, and the last minute changes, and the unexpected extra 5 requirements, and the scheduling conflicts, the Lord has been charging my heart to grow. Just whispering, "Use this uncomfort to let the issues of your heart come up, deal with them, and then grow in love." It's like He's actually using people's weakness to get under my skin to bring up the darkness of my own. He's that good. It's an invitation into walking out the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle. To prefer others above myself. I want to be better at this. Just a thought I've been having lately. I want to use even the odd things of life to learn from. I want a teachable heart.