I look around me and find that at the end of the day there are very few things that truly satisfy me. This last year I’ve really found that the Lord has been shaving out of my life slowing all the excess “things” that I had for so many years tried to replace His love with. The the superior pleasures truly only come from above. I’ll find myself doing different things throughout the week; reading a good book, writing a nice letter, watch a movie with friends, go out to eat with friends, play sports...etc. But I’ve found that nothing really satisfies my heart like the way the Lord does when I take time to spend time in His presence letting Him love me. Lately I’ve been practicing while in the Prayer Room to just sit before Him and pray to myself, “I’m loved by God, and a lover of God, therefore I’m successful.” Let all the accusations come against me, deny them, and say it again. “I’m loved by God, and a lover of God, therefore I’m successful.” Once again, repeat process. And maybe do that for 15 minutes to a half hour, and just let the Lord come and speak the way He feels about me. The way He moves my heart is unlike anything I can find in this world. The spiritual high I get after walking away from sitting in His presence is better than any fake substitute this world could offer me. A scripture that I’ve fallen in love with since being here in KC is, “Let Him kiss me with the kisses of His Word, for Your love is better than wine.” Song of Solomon 1:2 Inviting the Lord to come and invade my little life with his all consuming, never ending love. Letting his love come and satisfy my heart more than any intoxication of this world.
This past week I was sitting in the Prayer Room before the Lord just sharing with him my commitment to Him, and how I had chose to serve Him, and that I would never choose another. And so clearly the Lord just spoke back to me out of Hosea 2:19-20. The Lord spoke to my heart and said, “You think that you’ve committed yourself to me, but actually I’ve been the one pursuing you the whole time. That while you were in your sin, while you were choosing the lesser pleasures of life, I was searching you out. While you sold yourself for the cheap things of this life, I was offering you a ring to come and marry me, and run away from all the cheap counterfeits. That when you had made yourself a prostitute for money and the wine of this world, I called you beautiful and pure.” He just painted this picture in my head of how yet I was His enemy, He loved me, and died for me! I could just picture myself as a bum on the side of the road strung out on crack, deep into a life of drugs, alcohol, and sex, and down the road drives this limousine. Out steps the King of Kings and Lord of Lords. He actually gets out of His luxurious car, in His suit, and calls me to come get into His car with Him. Instead of taking His friendly offer, I actually swear at Him and start running down the street through crowds of people. Instead of getting back in His limo and driving off, He actually starts chasing me down the street, and calling after me and telling me how much He loves me and cares about me. How He wants to take me back to His house and get me out of my current situation. He wants to give to me a superior pleasure and joy, instead of the counterfeits I had been pursing. When I finally slowed to a stop, and allowed Him to come and pick me up off the ground and carry me back to His fancy limo, He started whispering to me that I was so worth the whole ordeal. That He enjoyed the process of the cross because I was now in His arms. Every whip and stripe on His back He enjoyed because He was here holding me now. Even though I was filthy as dirt, He desired to take me from that place and start taking me through a process of washing me clean.
I am the beloved Bride of Christ. I am a promised Son of God. My righteousness is as filthy rags if I do it in my own strength and strivings. It is by grace, and grace alone that I have been made beautiful. That He can look at me and say, “I want you,” is truly a miracle in and of itself. The God that all the 24 elders, and angels, and 4 living creatures have been able to do for all of eternity past has been cry out day and night never sleeping, “Holy, Holy, Holy, Lord God Almighty, who was and is, and is to come!” The miracle of God grace towards me is truly a mystery to my mind. But one thing that I do know, and rejoice in, is that He loves me with the same amount of love that He loves His Son. That the infinite amount of love that He can pour out, He pours it out on me. This notion has been thrilling my heart for the past months, and I think I’ll go right on allowing in to guide my heart into a new dimension of love for myself, and others.
That’s all I got.
Be Blessed,
Isaac
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