Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Semester Recap

There's been no shortage of things to write home about over the last few weeks, only a shortage of time! Finished up my third semester of school at the Forerunner Music Academy here in south Kansas City. I can't even believe how fast time continues to fly by, in a few months I will have been in Kansas City for two years! Almost doesn't seem real.

My classes finished up Friday last week, I leave to go home and spend time with family this Friday. I've purposed for this week to be a time of spending as much time in the prayer room I can each day so that I can journal and process all of the things the Lord has been speaking to me about over the course of the past 4 months.

I had two different theology classes over the semester, each a quarter long. The first class I took was "The Hymns of Revelation" which is all of the songs from the book of Revelation. Studying context to them, how they apply, and when we'll be singing them. It was an excellent class. The second class, which was my favorite so far, was "Life of David." Such a encouraging class, to study the life of David, to look into the seasons of his life, and find myself in the story! We had an excellent teacher, he has been specifically studying the life of David for the past 10 years. So he knows his stuff =] One of the most encouraging things about the class was the realness of David as a man. He was a real man, that really had alot of issues, and the Lord still used Him powerfully as king over Israel.

David, receiving the promise of being anointed king at 17 years old, wasn't made king until age 30! Going through early promotion with his victory over Goliath, being brought into king Saul's courts, being loved by Saul as one of his own sons. Not long after Saul rejecting David and trying to take his life. David would spend the next seven years of his life being chased through caves and dessert by 3,000 men. Talk about mid life crisis! This wasn't two months, six months, or even a year, but SEVEN YEARS! The Lord's leadership in training David was quite a bit different than any of us would have thought, or chosen. After the years of running, David is made king over Gibeah, which is only a twelfth of the kingdom. He knew the promise over his life was to be king over all of Israel, his mighty men knew the promise and tried to get him to take the throne by force. All of Israel knew the promise over his life, but David knew that the Lord would be the one to move him into his secondary calling as king over Israel. David stayed in the partial fulfillment of the promise, faithfully serving Gibeah for seven years! What a testimony of his faith in the Lord. Why was David able to be steadfast in his love for the Lord through those years? Because David knew that the promise to be king over Israel was secondary to his PRIMARY calling in life, to love the Lord with all of his heart, soul, mind, and strength. This is the truth that carried David through the roughest places of life. Finally at age 30 when David was anointed king over Israel in the city Jerusalem, he was able to serve faithfully as a king because he had some of the most intense training. A lifetime of being refined by life circumstances, and learning how to love God well through those times. This was his identity, a man after God's own heart.

Both of those classes I had twice a week. I also had a class studying the Sermon on the Mount, which was only once a week over the course of the entire semester. I'm not sure if I have words for this class at the moment. To much conviction and heart issues to like it. When studying the Sermon on the Mount the hardest part is that just studying it demands change in your lifestyle. So I was in constant place of processing the concepts of this class and categorizing them in my heart. This is the class that none of us will ever graduate from. I'll be working on this the rest of my life.

There's alot going on. Hannah is here in KC with me for a few days, so it's been nice showing her my places that I like, and she's gotten to meet some of 'my people.' It has been a fun few days. I'll check back in when I know which way my head is screwed on.

Grace and Peace.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

One Thing Necessary

So it's been a hard week. Why? There was nothing out of the ordinary that would throw me for a loop. It actually seemed like my schedule this past week if anything should have been a refreshing week for me. So why, now Saturday is here, and there is a distinguished taste of frustration and tension in my heart? I don't understand. Throughout my day today I kept trying to figure it out, "Lord, I do like You don't I? You really like me don't You? So then what's the deal with...this." No ability to focus on homework, no motivation to cook real food, no desire to go be spontaneous. What gives. Finally I sat down to start working on homework, (because it is now imperative that we start making progress at this point since we have put it off for so long) my first assignment just so happens to be a scripture meditation. Can't really complain about having to pray about a portion of scripture for homework. If anything you would think that it would actually be easier. But, simply of the fact that it is "homework" puts up this invisible wall of dread. As I begin to write out the verse, and start talking to the Lord about it, there is still that definitive nagging in my heart. I stop. "What Lord?" I've finally reached the point of desperation. "Why can't I just focus on doing something for a few minutes?!!" Nothing. "Gah!" Then, I slowly start getting this familiar feeling overcoming my heart. Heartache. But with the heartache I seem to hear the Lord saying, "I miss You."

Then everything starts to make sense in my heart. I hadn't even been able to function in simple day to day obligations over the past few days because of this weird funk I'd been in. I had been a criminal of stealing away the time. I had actually more free time then I normally do over the past week, and somehow I managed to avoid Him. I kept tricking myself into thinking that I had been spending time with Him, when the reality was that I kept tacking my "quiet time" on with activities I was doing. "Lord, come work on my project with me." Or, "Lord I'm going to clean my room, do You want to join me?" Not that He didn't enjoy spending those times with me. But I had neglected "Our time." I replaced the time that me and Him spend fellowshipping together, with activities and inviting Him to come along. Imagine doing that to a close friend. A scheduled time that you and your best friend were going to spend together each week, or even day. Each week/day as that time came around, right before you were supposed to hangout you call your friend and say, "Hey, I want to still hangout with you, but do you mind if we run to walmart and pick up some groceries, I really need to get a few things, and we can still hangout together." Then the next week/day comes and you need to go to the bank. The next week/day comes and you have to clean your room. The next week/day comes and you have to fold laundry. Now your friend probably wouldn't mind after the first few times, but after it became a constant thing where you no longer just spent time alone talking, but rather always were 'doing' something together, I think your friend would get a little frustrated in time. The problem is how often do we do this to the Lord? I know that this past week it was the case for me. "Hey do you mind if we can just do this real quick and talk along the way?" He smiles, being so patient with me and responds, "No, I don't mind." I don't think He ever minds. But there comes a point that He knows, and I know, that my heart will no longer be able to operate in a flowing relationship with Him if I don't take time to purposefully do nothing but just sit, and talk to Him while accomplishing seemingly nothing. It will turn into a superficial relationship if we continue to spend all of our time together 'doing' instead of simply 'being' and getting to know the movements of each others hearts.

"Martha, Martha, you are anxious and troubled about many things, but one thing is necessary. Mary has chosen the good portion, which will not be taken away from her." Luke 10:41-42

One thing is necessary. Mary had chosen in the midst of the busyness of life to sit at the feet of Jesus, seemingly accomplishing nothing, as Martha was slaving away making provisions for the guests, but Jesus says that Mary had chosen the good part. The things that Martha was doing weren't 'bad', but they had caused her to become, anxious and troubled about many things. As Mary sat at the feet of Jesus, she became a friend of Jesus. Her heart became connected to His. She became one of Jesus' closest friends. What many had looked on and deemed as foolishness of Mary, Jesus actually was the most deeply moved by. Mary got it. There truly is only One thing necessary, to sit at the feet of Jesus, spending time with Him, and getting to know His heart. This will sustain our hearts through the midst of any challenge we may face. Even if it is the challenge of the mundane rigors of life, if we have put in the time waisting away at the feet of Jesus, our hearts will be unmoved.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

What a Blur!

This past few weeks has flown by. My schedule has once again probably gotten the better of me. Focusing on getting different things done, juggling between photography, school, and relationships has been enough to make my head spin! Lucky for me, it stayed on straight. This past weekend headed home of course for my sisters wedding. Ended up missing my flight Thursday night, which we won't talk about, so took a 5am flight out of KC and got into Flint around noon on Friday. Worked on wedding stuff all day Friday, Saturday had the grand day of marriage. Got home late that night after cleaning everything up, and then had Sunday to hangout with family and try to have some down time. It was a blur of a trip home, but never much needed. I hadn't seen family since early July, so it was due time to see em' people.

Getting back to KC early Monday morning, I jumped right back into my busy schedule here. On top of my already fairly busy schedule, there was a team from Poland visiting, so I spent all my spare time visiting with them. Doing my best to engage in conversation with my less than poor Polish. They were gracious with me, and did their best to include me. But it really was a amazing time of building friendship with these Poles that share the same hunger for the Lord. My heart was stirred to give myself to the study of the language all the more. What a difficult language it is. But it is exciting as the Lord continues to open up opportunity with this nation, I may quite possibly be visiting in this next year a few of the Houses of Prayer that are in the beginning stages.

There seems to be to much traffic in my heart to be able to narrow out one consistent theme. Other than I have to trust that the Lord is the one in control of the times and seasons of my life. I have to release my trust into His hands. He's got good ideas, me, not so much.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

A Marathon!

So maybe this was one of those things you do once, realize you've made a bad decision, and never do it again. But maybe, just maybe there was a strange seed planted within me to rise to the challenge again.

Way back in May of this year me and my friend Mark, who happens to be my best at the moment, got some crazy idea to run the Kansas City Marathon. For the past 3 years I've run a 10 mile race each summer, and a few 10k's here and there. But entering into this summer I finally felt like there was a desire to reach for something that would really challenge my physical frame to the max. So, I guess that meant a Marathon. Something I had toyed with the idea of doing, but never really seriously considered. As the summer progressed and the miles of training kept increasing running became more natural. It was odd how at the beginning of the summer a 8 mile run was kind of a big deal, and by September a 7 mile run was a regular workout for me. Through the journey of training I could my body slowly making a transition of becoming used to the long endurance runs I was taking weekly. Through all of the miles though there was a simultaneous training taking place. The training of my spirit, mind, and soul. To tell the honest truth I've never actually enjoyed running. Still don't actually. Playing soccer my whole life growing up it's always been a form of discipline, sooo, now we're going to do it for fun? But what actually sucked me in to continue growing to do more and more miles was the fact that while running I would spend the most time alone with the Lord other than any other time during me day. When I was running, it was just me and Him. It was a spiritual journey of getting to know the one that formed my body, and fashioned me in a way so that I could run. My absolute favorite run throughout all of my trainings was a 8 mile run in a park. Me and Mark started that run together, the clouds were kind of closing in, and there was a light drizzle as we started. Right as we were getting to our turn around spot for the out and back the heavens opened up and it began to pour on us. As we made our turn to start back 4 miles me and Mark separated in our pace, so I was by myself for the last 4 miles. On the trail that day running through the woods with rain pouring so thick you could barely see, thunder and lightning flashing around me, I had one of the most powerful encounters of knowing the Lord as my protector. Though the storm was raging all around me, my heart was secure in the one that knew my frame. "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26 The marathon training was one of the most intense spiritual refining things I have ever done in my life. It challenged my faith with every run I took. I thought it was slightly funny that Mark's bib number was "666" I guess out of 11,000 runners, someone has to take the number, might as well be someone who can handle it! The week of the marathon it seemed like everything was working against me. In the midst of trying to hydrate all week and be on top of stretching and getting my body ready, I had probably one of the busiest weeks yet this semester! As well wrestling with finances at the time, I wasn't able to buy groceries and get the nutrition I was needing leading up to the race. But once again, the Lord showed Himself faithful and provided for my every need! It was as if the Lord gave me one last training seminar I hadn't quite planned on. "Will you trust me Isaac to provide for ALL your needs?" Finally race day arrived, and so we made our way downtown Kansas City Saturday morning at 6:30am with 11,000 other runners! We were packed into the city street like a can of sardines! People lined up in the street shoulder to shoulder for about 3 city blocks! Truly it was the most fun race I have ever been apart of! Me and Mark decided at the beginning of the race that we wanted to run the whole thing together. We felt good up until about mile 21, and then my left hamstring cramped. So we stopped and stretched it out real quick, started running again, it cramped again. Stretched it, kept running, then my right hamstring went out. So, pretty much the last 5 miles ended up being the hardest 5 miles I've ever done! The last half mile coming up on the final stretch me and Mark gave it everything we had left to not let anymore grandma's pass us in the slow lane. As we made the turn onto Grand Blvd to run the last .2 miles, we see the thousands of people lining the street, but just as we turn the corner Amazing Grace starts being played on the bagpipes blasting through the streets of Kansas City! It was such a strong testimony to my heart, we weren't late in finishing the race, we were right on time. God is never late in His provision, HE'S ALWAYS RIGHT ON TIME! With that last boost we cruised our way towards the finish line. The marathon pace. I truly believe the Lord was working in me the stamina to get a picture of what it looks like to run the spiritual race with that marathon pace! He's teaching me to run with endurance. As long as you keep running, as long as you finish. You win. If you don't quite, if you don't surrender to the challenges within the race, you win. Even if you're crawling. You're winning! Don't let the meat wagon carry you off, another victim caught in self anguish and frustration. Keep running. Keep fighting.

Tuesday, October 5, 2010

Love Perfected in Us.

Lately I've been studying the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 5, 6, and 7, seems like the more I see the commands that Jesus gives the more I realize the depths of requirement that the gospel demands. Jesus gives the constitution of the kingdom of heaven in the Sermon on the Mount. He gives the values on which the kingdom is built. These are the guidelines by which we are actually required to live if we say that we love Him. "For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome." 1 John 5:3 Truly if we are professing that we love Him, then we would follow the commands of His Word. Love demands a response, not a response out of duty, but truly out of a heart that desires to love well. It's so easy to serve those you love.

It's important to know that even as we do our best to follow His commands that we will fail. For the rest of our life we will come short in at least one of the commands. But even in our failings He thoroughly enjoy us! He's not disappointed when we fall short in the process of walking out His commands. The very fact that we are engaging our heart to reach for obedience is a testimony of our love to Him. Pursuing righteousness is not a normal response of the heart. Being poor in spirit is not a natural characteristic that any human is born with. So as we step forward to do our best to walk out His commands, know that just the fact that we are reaching moves His heart!

This has been the picture that has been likened to in my head the last week as I've been thinking about this. A husband that loves His wife should buy his wife flowers. But not out of motivation of duty or obligation. If the husband came home from a long day of work one day and gave his wife a big bouquet of flowers and told her that on the way home from work he felt like he needed to be a good husband and buy her flowers, she might be a little upset and feel like the husband was trying to "buy" her love. Not only that, but that the sole motivation of his buying the flowers came from a heart of obligation and not out of his genuine love for his wife.

But lets say this husband is deeply in love with wife, and on the way home from work his heart is moved as he thinks about his wife, and how much he loves her. He decides out of a demonstration of his love for his wife he wants to stop and pick some wild flowers for her. As he gets out of the car and walks out into the field, he sinks a full 6 inches into deep mud. Now his feet and pants are dirty and caked with mud. Determined to get his wife a beautiful arrangement of flowers he continues to get the flowers he needs. After picking enough flowers to make a bouquet he turns to walk back to his car, but as he turns slips and falls flat on his face in the mud crushing the flowers underneath himself. Finally getting home he walks in the house all muddy and dirty, holding in his hand a pathetic looking wild-flower bouquet. But he looks at his wife and says, "I got you some flowers because I love you." Grinning ear to ear with dirt gritted in his teeth. His wife looks at him and loves him in return despite his fairly beat up self and poor bouquet. What a weak offering, but so sincere. She fully loves her husband and loves that fact that he was thinking of her through the whole process of "trying" to get flowers for her. She sees his love, even though he feel short in walking out the offering part perfectly, the very fact that he was making an effort out of a heart that loves, is so beautiful in her sight.

If we try to walk out the commands of Jesus from a heart that feels obligation of the Christian faith to follow some guidelines, what makes us any different than the man that wanted to buy the flowers for his wife because he had a duty to fulfill? What makes us any different then the pharisees? Jesus spoke forth the commands out of a heart that loved us completely, loved us so much that He desired to give us a picture of what it looks like to love Him in return. Before we had His commands we didn't even know what it looked like to love Him! When we see the commands of Jesus, when we connect with the fact of wanting to walk out His commands because we truly do love Him. Then the feeling of obligation begins to fade away. We walk in obedience from a heart that longs to love Him well. That even in the journey of trying to walk out His commands and falling, like the husband, deep into the mud, He sees the reach of our heart to love Him, and He calls our weak offering real love.

His commands are in no way burdensome when we realize that walking out His commands is loving Him. "but whoever keeps his word, in him truly the love of God is perfected. By this we may know that we are in him, whoever says he abides in him ought to walk in the same way in which he walked." 1 John 2:5-6

Saturday, September 25, 2010

I'm so convinced that He is Good

There was once nothing. But there was no lack. The Father set with the Son and Spirit, communing and daily being the delight of one another. It was only the Godhead, three in one, glorifying and loving another, yet in the same, still one. There was a unanimous move on the heart of God, among the three of them that is. A fleeting desire. A passion to love. Love so undefined, so untouchable. Love that was complete. Out of the burning desire there came forth words, "Let there be light." And there was light. The desire of the heart of the Lord became manifest as He painted, crafted, and established what we now know as the universe. Hanging the stars in the heavens, but not overlooking one flower of the field. It was good in His sight. He must have thought, "This is a suitable and right environment to place the desire of my heart in the midst." So from the dust, from something He already created, the dirt of the earth, He created once more and brought forth His image bearer. He brought forth the one He desired. "This one will rule with me. This one I will enjoy and be enjoyed by." Man was the desire of the creators heart made manifest. What does love look like? A creator who desired, therefore out of the overflow of His heart fashioned something perfect so He could love them. But giving the free will of man to choose for themselves to love Him in return. Would they be voluntary lovers? Would man know that He loved them? By looking around them at all of creation would their hearts see all of the works of His fingers and know that more than all of these things that they were the overflow of the Creators heart? Would there be doubt in man's heart about how their creator felt about them? Oh, but how could they doubt His love when observing all His many demonstrations of love!

Think on the story of creation from His perspective. He desired, therefore He created. You and I weren't some random life that dropped out of nowhere onto the earth. He knew You and I in our mother's womb. He fashioned and formed each one of us perfectly, exactly the way He wanted us. To call something about ourselves ugly, or unattractive is actually to disagree with His creative expression. He doesn't mess up on people when He creates. He fashions them just the way He wants them. How could we ever doubt His love for us?! I am confident that my Father in heaven who fashioned and formed me is for me. He really does like me. All the accusations of the enemy that would say otherwise, I bring into the light of truth, He desired me, therefore He created me. He didn't with hold anything from me when He formed me. He gave me the right amount of gift mix, the right amount of physical ability, He gave me a creative expression. The whole package He gave me, He gave me specifically to cause me to Love Him more in every circumstance of life. I'm so convinced that He is good!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I Remember.

As of lately I've been journalling more and more. Writing down prayers, thoughts, or different revelations that the Lord has revealed to my heart lately. But mostly, I find that my journalling is mostly talking to the Lord about His heart for me. This has been one of the most beneficially things that I've taken time to do over the past couple weeks. As I'm talking to the Lord, my kind Father, I'm asking Him questions, making declarations from His Word what He says about me. I still haven't fully comprehended (nor do I think I ever will) the ability of the human mind to so easily forget about all of the Lord's goodness in my life. My forgetfulness is about as faithful as the morning sunrise. Each morning as I start my day, it's like I have to jumpstart my heart to remember. I have to declare His loving kindness over myself daily, otherwise my thoughts and beliefs about Him become skewed so very quickly. I think thats why David seems so repetitive in the Psalms, because as He was making declarations to the Lord about His character, but he was also making a declaration over his own soul, body, and mind. "Look at Him! In all of His glory! Look at Him in all of His splendor! Look at Him in the way He deals with me mercifully everytime! Look at Him O my soul, and know His kindness! He is good to those who love Him. He is slow to anger, full of mercy, abounding in love! There is none like Him! O glorify Him my spirit, soul, and mind! For He alone is deserving of all my affections! Praise Him in His excellent wisdom, exalt Him for His perfect leadership. Truly the boundary lines have fallen in pleasant places! Father You have given me all I need for life and godliness." Even in my times of journalling each day I've picked up on David's habit of making declarations and prayers to the Lord, but also that they would be ever over me and upon me as a reminder of the Lord's great Faithfulness in past seasons. He is faithful everytime. He is gracious everytime. He is so committed to the process of seeing our hearts through the journey of maturing. Even more than we are =] That is encouraging to my heart. That as devoted as I am to seeing His righteousness perfected in me, that He has even more zeal about it, and knows exactly the process it will take to get me there. Good and Good.



Tuesday, September 14, 2010

A Challenge

It's funny how us as people can so easily get stuck in a routine of life of just going through the motions. Do the same weekly agenda's and mundane business, and feel as if we are being stretched and grown. Not to say that the Lord doesn't use the routine things of life to teach us valuable lessons. But it is just amusing to me how we get so used to our schedule, and if someone interrupts it how easy we are to get upset and be thrown off. Entering this fall semester at IHOPU I knew what I was signing up for, but I don't know how ready I was to give myself fully to the requirements when they changed outside of my expectations. We often times as people have a set mindset of what we think something is going to look like, and if somehow that expectation doesn't line up we so quickly disengage our heart and look for the easy way out. (Well, I know that is a response my heart so often gives). As of lately through the midst of all the business in my schedule, and the last minute changes, and the unexpected extra 5 requirements, and the scheduling conflicts, the Lord has been charging my heart to grow. Just whispering, "Use this uncomfort to let the issues of your heart come up, deal with them, and then grow in love." It's like He's actually using people's weakness to get under my skin to bring up the darkness of my own. He's that good. It's an invitation into walking out the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle. To prefer others above myself. I want to be better at this. Just a thought I've been having lately. I want to use even the odd things of life to learn from. I want a teachable heart.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Starting Afresh!

Well, today I start a new semester with IHOPU (International House of Prayer University). In the school of Forerunner Music Academy I am so excited to spend the next 5 months being stretched and pulled in new ways. It's a very exciting/scary/busy time! Being in the classroom environment once again it's exciting to be learning new material and expanded my musical abilities. Definitely scary in that there is a new level of responsibility of leadership and uncertainty in finances. As my schedule this semester is once again about 50 hours a week of just IHOPU responsibility. Being a full time student as well as intercessor, it keeps me locked in! But that is the one aspect of the school that I wouldn't trade for any other school in the world! A school that actually requires you as a part of your grade to sit in the prayer room 24 hours a week in prayer talking to the Lord. Asking the one who wrote the Word about His words. I think it's the best way to study there is =) Another aspect of the music school that I love so much is that they place you on different worship teams within your class, playing 8 hours a week in a student led prayer room. So I just found out that I was selected to be the worship leader for our team. Again, the scary aspect of a new realm of responsibility. I'll be leading 2 of our 4 sets a week, each set is 2 hours long! I am really excited to take this role humbly and look to learn as much as I can in this season of serving my team.

In other news I am continuing to train for the Kansas City marathon. (Yes, all 26.2 miles of a marathon) This being my first it's for sure a new level of training and intensity in workouts! Being as busy as I am with school, I thought this would be such a great way to fill my spare 3 hours a day. Just Kidding. The marathon is October 16th, so after that it will be somewhat of a relief on my schedule freeing up a little time. Along with this marathon I just recently decided to help raise awareness for multiple myeloma (a type of blood cancer) that my high school kicking coach was diagnosed with 2 years ago. He is very young and has a wife and 3 kids. He is very far along in the treatment process, and is really fighting hard to kick this thing. He kicked for the University of Michigan for 4 years, including a game winning field goal against Washington!
So I'll keep you posted in the next week or so in any ways you would be able to help. I have a fundraiser goal of at least $1,000. Which I'm expecting to far exceed!

One final thing is that I have been so blessed to see the Lord's faithfulness and provision operating in my life actively lately! I wasn't planning on doing school up until a couple weeks ago when a friend of mine out of nowhere decided to bless me with $1,600 towards school. So that was so incredible as it was right on time! I'm still in need of another $900 to pay for the rest of my tuition this semester, but I am fully believing the Lord for His provision in His perfect timing. If any of you would be interested in supporting me on a monthly basis and partnering with me financially, I am going to be in a place in the next couple months where I am not sure where any of the provision is going to come from. I am trusting the Lord as He as always provided for my every need, every time! There's never been a time where I've gone hungry, and I know this is the pace that I am supposed to be, so I trust my good Father to continue providing for all my needs! "Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing?" Matthew 6.25 Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing. I love that. He's Good. All the time. End of Story.


Sunday, August 1, 2010

It's been Too LONG!

So, life has been flying by once again, and summer is almost/basically over! I've been meaning to update on life for a while now, but I think cause I was so busy I just kept forgetting to sit down and remember for a while. First on the agenda this summer was a trip out to Phoenix, Arizona. In early June I flew out to Phx with Megan and soon to be brother-in-law Nathan to be apart of a camp that I've done the last 3 years called Phoenix Inner City Kids (PICK).
For this camp we take about 60 kids from the inner city areas of Phoenix and scholarship them to go on this 6 day camp in the mountains of Colorado. Pretty much all of these kids are coming from homes where the parents could be in prison, on drugs, alcoholic's, or they could quite possibly be living with their aunt, uncle, or grandparent's house. So many different stories of the individual circumstances these kids face on a daily basis. This being my third year I felt so privileged to be apart of what this pastor in Phoenix has been laboring for the last 35 years! I was a counselor, led worship for most all the chapels, and then had a chance to share what the Lord had placed on my heart for His children! It was a difficult thing to counsel and give guidance to these kids, yet at the same time do your very best to show them love in every way possible. They are going to test your patience in every way to see if your love is genuine. So all week long I feel like a total failure at this. Constantly being "that guy" that is telling the kids, "Don't climb on that,...Don't hit him!...Don't jump in the river!...Why would you throw your trash on the ground?" Just to name a few. But these kids have never known someone to care enough to give them boundaries. Through all the hardness of being a leader and giving direction I had to do my best to show love in the times of ministry and show them the love of our Father in heaven. The last service of the camp, Wednesday night, the pastor really leave it open as a time of rejoicing and sharing. So we do a little dancing, a little lot laughing and enjoying being ourselves. Then we formed a huge circle of chairs in the chapel and put a few different microphones on stands in the middle and one by one these kids got up and would share a bit of their story with us. Without one kid going twice we sat there for 2.5 hours listening to these kids pour their heart out from past pain and what the Lord had done. IT WAS ONE OF THE MOST AMAZING THINGS I HAVE EVER WITNESSED! Knowing that these kids have seen some really tough times in their lifetime you start to get a picture for the story behind their faces. This one is quiet because he never had his parents growing up, and never knew what it was to have a family that loved him. This one is 14 and has to hide his dads alcohol when he is to drunk otherwise he would just keep drinking. The stories were endless and unbelievable! Getting back to Phoenix I stayed with the friend of mine that flew me out there and his wife. Their condo is in the Glendale area, which is about 400 yards (Ok maybe 500 yards) from the Phoenix Cardinals football stadium! My time with them was really good as I was able to continuing sharing what the Lord has been doing in my life over the last year. It was a really good time of connection and just talking about life. The night before I was to head back to KC my friend says that he wants to bless me with $1,000. With which I was able to buy the Rosetta Stone levels 1, 2, and 3 for Polish, and also put some money towards a car. It was just so incredible the way the Lord continues to surprise me in the way He provides for my needs and wants!

So, returning to KC I'm absolutely blown away once again by the way the Lord works and gives above and beyond all I can ever ask or imagine! It was a quick week in KC then I drove up to Michigan to spend about 12 days with my family. I think this was a very timely and much needed extended trip with all my people. What an amazing time we have whenever we get together and start being ourselves. But really it was a blessing to spend time with family and just make that connection of seeing their faces =) I was able to visit a few friends as well and just share what I had been up to the last year and a half I've been away. And it was nice to celebrate my birthday back home this year. I liked that alot. I felt a lot of love.

After that good but long trip home I had all of 1 full day back in Kansas City to wash all my laundry and pack up all my gear. Me and my best friend headed to out Colorado for a week of camping and hiking. But my favorite part about this trip, no computer, cell was turned off for most of the trip left in the truck, and we got alot of time to just experience God in the mountains! Our schedule was pretty much like this: Wake up each morning round 6:30 er 7, have an amazing breakfast over an open fire, then head out separate ways for an hour to an hour and a half to spend some alone time either in the Word or in prayer. And I'll tell you, how can you not talk to God when you've got a devotional spot like this???
So that time each morning was pretty much AMAZING! I've never been able to concentrate so easily on reading the Bible or talking to the Lord. With absolutely no distractions, just a quietness of gazing at the beauty of His creation and the simplicity of Truth from His Word. I think the Lord knew I needed this time of just being still before Him and remembering His promises for my life. But also this was such a good building of friendship time between me and my best friend Mark. The whole time we were out there we just felt so privileged to be able to take a week and just spend it encouraging one another and going on journeys together through some of the most AMAZING scenery you've ever seen! We hiked every day some place new. It was really neat to see the different types of climate in such a small area. You go to one side of a mountain and it's more prairie and grasslands with birch trees covering the landscape, and the other you can have a pine forest with tons of rock landscape with little streams and rivers running in and out of them. A really cool spot that we found was Horse thief falls. It was about a 3 mile hike to the falls, and since this was the third day into the trip we thought it would be a good idea to do a little wash up with my fair trade soap. We might be men but sometimes you just gotta take care of business so nothing starts growing in unwanted areas. I'll tell you that water was COLD! Straight out of the mountains! But really it was all fun, there really wasn't an area that we didn't enjoy. The hiking everyday kind of just blurred together as the week went on. But we did have our sites set on doing one hike before we left Colorado. Pikes Peak! Oh boy, did we ever! So, pikes just kept getting pushed back on our agenda list. So it ends up that we have one last day to do it. Saturday, which is the day before we leave. So we decide that we're going to do a light hike on Friday so we don't leave ourselves dead for Pikes. Well, Friday we decide to do Dome Rock, which we thought was about a 5 or 6 mile hike. Turns out that it's actually about a 12 or 13 mile hike. The first 4 miles of the hike are beautiful with tons of landscape, a rushing creek that the trail is following, with tons of rocky mountainous landscape to gaze upon! Well, we get to Dome Rock, it's pretty cool, then we keep going thinking we've only got a couple miles till we're back now. Turns out not to be the case. We then continue another 7 miles of mostly uphill hiking. Not a very good idea the day before doing Pikes Peak. So things are already working against us for our 13 mile hike the following day. Early Saturday morning we get our stuff together and head out to hike up Pikes Peak. The only problem is we only know a general area of where the trailhead is. You would think being one of the main attractions in Colorado that there would be signs to direct you to the trailhead. Not the case. So we drive around for an hour and a half looking for the trailhead, finally we stop and get directions from a native (took asking 2 different people since the first had never been there before) So finally at 8:45 am we start the hike. By this time it's about 85 degrees with direct sun beating down on us. Mind you when at that elevation the sun feels that much hotter since you're closer! The first 3 miles of the hike are straight up, but it feels more like we've done 5 or 6 miles at this point. So we get to a mile marker which says, "Pikes Pike 9 more Miles" At this point I'm hurting all over, my legs are feeling fatigued already, my hips are a bit sore from the ridiculous hike we did the day before, there is NO WAY I'm going to be able to do the next 9 miles. I actually tell Mark to keep going convinced I wasn't going to do it. As I'm sitting there I have rather obese people running back DOWN the mountain. So I start thinking, "There's no way they are on their way back down from the top, there has to be a spot that levels out soon!" So with a new burst of energy I decide I'm doing this stupid thing! I take off after Mark who is quite a ways up the trail by now, and sure enough the trail levels out and is quite a bit easier than the first 3 miles. The next 5 miles go by fairly quickly as the terrain is much easier now that we've climbed in elevation quite a bit. Reaching the 4.5 miles left sign Mark and I kind of separated and started going at our own pace. The elevation was definitely now being felt more and more as we were getting higher. With about 3 miles of trail left a few things are happening, I start feeling a bit dizzy and just a little out of it, my legs are now to the point of simply going on only because of will power, and I'm thinking, "I need to get to the top so I can ride that stupid train down, because there is no way I'm hiking back down this thing!" Getting close to the 2 mile marker my stomach is now feeling so normal. So I think to myself, "Maybe I need to eat something?" So I pull out a cliff bar to snack on, not so much a good idea, I feel even more sickly now! About this time a couple that I had passed earlier on is now passing me due to my slowing down in pace. The man asks me if I'm doing alright I gesture something I can't really remember. Something like, "Um, yeaaaah, I think so." He asks me if I have enough water, I say I've got about three quarters nalgene left. He asks if I have any food, I say yeah I've got a few cliff bars. So they continue on up. I sit there a few more minutes and then find motivation in getting to the top so I can get down. Also at this point we've been above tree for the past mile, so things are getting sparse. I catch up to the couple that had passed me and tell them I'm sticking with them till the top! So we continue up the mountain at a enjoyable pace. I asked them what time they had started and I found that they had started at 6:30! Somehow me and Mark managed to catch them starting a whole 2 hours and 15 minutes after them! That's how ridiculously fast a pace Mark was setting! FINALLY reaching the top in just over 5 hours I'm exhausted and ready to be back down, after making some connections with this couple they ask if me and my friend would like a ride back down the mountain as their son was picking them up at the top. I happily went and found Mark and told him he can do what he wants, but I'm riding down in a car (He joined me happily) As this was our last day, we were feeling rather accomplished to finish this ridiculous hike! 13 miles of trail for the most part all uphill, and going from 7,100 ft. up to 14,100! For sure the hardest hike I've ever done! I can see how people would just die on the side of the mountain! Especially if you didn't carry enough water with you!

Being back in KC now for a couple weeks I've been getting back to a normal routine of volunteering about 16 hours a week for the grounds crew here at the House of Prayer. There were alot of questions in my heart about this coming fall if I would be doing school or not. The past few weeks I have been praying alot asking the Lord if He was going to provide me with the finances to continue at the music academy. At the beginning of the summer the Lord spoke a couple things very plainly to me. #1 That He wanted me to volunteer my time because I was working for Him and He was going to provide for me. #2 He asked me a question. "Isaac, are you going to be able to trust me if I wait until the day before the money for school is due, and then pay for it?" So the whole volunteering thing over the summer has been such an amazing thing! It's kept my heart excited and trusting in His provision. You can't really complain about what you're making when you're not getting paid at all =) And you can't really complain about the hours you're working when you're volunteering your time. So it really helped me understand all the more that HE IS my provider, and there wasn't one time that I couldn't pay for rent or have food for the month. So then in response to #2, I knew that God could do things like that, but I wasn't really expecting Him to. So the past couple weeks I've been really telling the Lord that I was okay with whatever happened. If He provided the money and I went to school, AWESOME, I'll do school. But even if the money doesn't come, that I'll be ok with not doing school, because He obviously has a plan to teach and train me for the things I'll be doing! So there was just this peace about school going either way. So, just this past Thursday I get a call from a friend of mine that I've known since March. But he's been one of those people that I've just felt like the Lord has called me to come along side of in prayer, discipleship, and just encouraging Him. So it's not so much that we've had alot of personal contact since he lives in Houston. Anyways, he calls me Thursday and tells me that the past week him and his wife have been praying and felt like the Lord told him to give me money for school. So, He's giving me $1,600 for school! CRAZY!!!!! God is sooooo good! So, I still need another $900 for the semester, but I'm pretty sure that won't be very hard for God. Oh, and one of the coolest things was He called me on Thursday, and the deposit for classes was due Friday =) THE DAY BEFORE THE MONEY WAS DUE GOD CAME THROUGH!!!!!!! JUST LIKE HE SAID HE WOULD!!!! So, it's been an amazing summer, I can't believe how fast it's gone by, but I've enjoyed it thoroughly! I've got a wedding end of August down in Houston that I'm shooting, so I won't be able to join the family in their visit to Minneapolis =/ but I guess that just means I'll have to get up there another time. May God continue to bless our familys!!!


P.S. Click on all Pictures to make them HUGE size.

Friday, May 28, 2010

Meek and Lowly in Heart

"Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." What is true meekness? Once agin it cannot be something that is a natural character trait, or passed on. It is opposite of every way of natural logic. It is not simply a part of someone's nature to be meek and lowly in heart. Meekness is not simply being an agreeable person, that is easy going and non confrontational. Meekness is the most painful beatitude yet. In being poor in spirit we realize our need for His strength to be made perfect in our weakness. That we do not have what it takes to be successful in this life. That my own strength is not sufficient to walk out and live out the Sermon on the Mount lifestyle. Moving us into a place of being pained over our sin. This place of longing to be made whole, to no longer be bound by our sin. Which ushers us into the place of choosing meekness. Up until this point we have been ok with brokenness and weakness being displayed before ourself and God, but how will we respond when someone unjustly accuses us and points out that weakness for us? To be truly meek means we no longer protect ourselves, because we see there is nothing worth defending. The man that knows meekness is not always watching himself and his own interests. The meek man is not proud of himself, he does not in any sense glory in himself. He feels that there is nothing in himself of which he can boast. A man can never be meek unless he has seen himself as a vile sinner. The man who is truly meek is the one who is amazed that God and man can think of him as well as they do and treat him as well as they do. Meekness means knowing the wretchedness of your own heart, and knowing that in ourselves we are worth a whole lot less than what this human race demands of us. But the good news is, He will be strong for us in our weakest state! It is His promise to us. "My heart and my flesh may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalm 73:26

Strength & Honor,
Grace & Peace.


Sunday, May 23, 2010

The blessing of Mourning

"Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." To mourn, what is it to truly mourn? Once again we have to look through the spiritual lens to get a proper perspective and understanding of the message Jesus is trying to convey in these words. For this 'mourning' is more than the natural sadness over the loss of something. But to mourn over the sin in our heart and life. That battle that is raging on the inside. "For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep doing." Romans 7:18-19 The wrestle in my heart against the things I know I do not want to do because they are evil, when i do them it brings me to a place of mourning over my sin.. The place of mourning is the correct response to our sin. It is the mourning that will lead us to repentance, which will lead to a superior comfort, our hearts will be put to rest. The world is searching for peace, rest, and joy, and there is only one that can offer that full satisfaction. Jesus alone can bring comfort and trade our ashes for beauty. So why not surrender everything to Him? Why not enter into that eternal perspective of realizing we are weak and broken at the end of everyday, and the fact of mourning over our sin is taking us to the place of repentance, which leads to feeling the enjoyment of the Lord over our lives! I want to forever be pained over my sin, I want to look to the hope of the age to come, and in that place know there will be fullness of joy and comfort. That in that day, there will be no more sickness or death, no more pain. He will make all things new, and we will be perfectly one with Him!

Strength & Honor,
Grace & Peace.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Poor in Spirit

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven." What is Jesus really saying here? We know He is not addressing finance, "poor in spirit" I think He is speaking directly to that mentality in all of us that screams independence and self reliance. I have to come to a place where I recognize my lack, my spiritual barrenness to produce anything on my own. That it is all Him all the time! It's never by my strength that I will be able to accomplish anything, or get anywhere spiritually. It will always be about this truth of realizing that it will always be His strength giving me the endurance to sustain my heart. I am weak, I am broken, I have nothing apart from Him. I have to believe He is my good shepherd and He knows my weaknesses and will lead me on the path perfect for giving me strength to keep saying "Yes" to Him.I have nothing apart from Him. I am nothing without Him. I exist for Him, He doesn't exist for me. I have to learn to lean into the way He leads even when it feels opposite of normal, I must proclaim that His ways are far above my own. I think David was able to proclaim "You Gentleness has made me great" because He was connected to this truth of in our weakest and darkest moment, His strength is sufficient for me.My strength and my riches are found in CHrist alone! How encouraging that Jesus teaches this to us and desires to meet us in that place of weak reliant love on Him! Jesus knows we need Him, He lets us know we need Him, and then relentlessly calls our hearts to that place of learning to trust Him fully with our weakness. Let me never think I can do it on my own. Let me never find strength in myself. I proclaim that my strength is from a far superior strength. "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?" Psalm 27:1

Strength & Honor,
Grace & Peace.


Friday, May 7, 2010

Photography these days.

So I'm doing quite a bit of picture taking these days. Here's one from a recent wedding I assistant shot. LOVE THIS ONE!

Monday, May 3, 2010

A Walk that's Worthy

Lately I've been doing quite a lot of thinking. That pretty much goes without saying I guess. But even more so there has been questions on my heart and mind. The burning Worth of Jesus has been a topic on my mind. The heart of worship, the very center of what worship is. Why do I sing songs and pray things back to God that He already knows? Why is it important that we sing songs of praise to Jesus? I don't want to sing just empty meaningless songs. I want to sing straight to the heart of Jesus. Why, do we do all of these things? Because He is WORTH IT ALL! Everything we have to give, He's worth it all. What an interesting thought. The angels have been singing songs about the glory of who God is for all of eternity past since they were created. Angels were created. Since the time they were they've been singing about the majesty of God, the mystery of the greatness of who He is! The angels have been singing songs about how great He is, yet they have known what it is for God to look on their current situation and provide supernaturally for them. They've never felt the emotion of knowing that God is looking at their life specifically and caring about them. They are merely angels, and they still cry Holy. All they can do at the response of seeing this great and marvelous God is cry out Holy! God, in and of Himself is worth our every ounce of adoration and praise we can give. Why am I involved in a 24/7 prayer and worship movement? Because God is so worth every bit of 24/7 worship! Anything less would be less than what He deserves! He is worth 24/7 worship just in the character of who He is. How much more every time He has proved His faithfulness in our personal lives. He is worth a endless song that sings of His power and majesty. He is worth an unending song that sings of His beauty in His kindness and mercy that knows no end. He is so worth our songs, our hearts, our lives! Not that this is a real number or percentage, but lets say about 95% of the songs that we sing here on the earth wouldn't even qualify as worship in heaven! Our songs are filled with selfish motives and external motives. Not that God is sitting in heaven looking at how bad our songwriting is, because He loves the song. But He is worthy of the best that we can give! My heart has been singing of songs that would declare the beauty of who He is to the nations. But not just in music or song, because that is not the end of worship. A life that explodes with thought, emotion, expression, passion for the Glory of what God is deserving! He's worth our every breath, our every movement, our every thought, that Jesus may be exalted in that place. This God/Man is so worth our every moment of time. He is so worth wasting your life on. If there is one ambition of mine lately it has been to waste my life on the journey of knowing Him and giving Him the Glory He is due. It's no wonder when Jesus was born that the angels couldn't help but cry out to the shepherds, "Glory to God in the Highest!" The angels could absolutely not help themselves when the God that created them, created the earth, created man, became what He created. They thought they had songs to sing about the Glory and Majesty of God before, then He steps into the form of His own creation as God in the flesh of a new born baby, and the angels go CRAZY!!! I want to stare at Jesus with that kind of revelation and give Him all the glory He is due! But not only that, when God became a man, it was a testimony in itself that He desires to know us individually. So not only in my songs do I want to testify about my love for this God that became a man for me. My heart response, when everything is cursing and bringing shame to His name, from a lovesick I have to scream out and defend His name. My heart has grown to love Him, I can't just let people trample all over His name. If there is anyone worth defending, or dying for, it's Jesus. Let my heart be connected to that, so that I may live a walk that is worthy of who He is.

Grace & Peace,
Strength & Honor.


Monday, April 19, 2010

Allen Hood Sharing about Boston

How amazing it was to be apart of this trip!

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Boston Trip

I made it back to Kansas City this afternoon after a long week out on the east coast in Boston. The Lord did some incredible work in the hearts of the people out there! There was about 300 give or take IHOPU students that were out there with me, along with another 100 people that were from the area with local ministries.

For about four days straight we hit inner city Boston hard with evangelism outreaches on the subways, buses, and different college campuses. It was an experience with evangelism like I've never had before! One of the days that stuck out to me so much was Wednesday as we were ministering at the Harvard campus. As we were walking to the subway we saw a couple of older gentlemen sitting on one of the park benches. One of the men was on crutches, so instantly a few girls walked up and asked him if they could pray for healing. The man promptly responded that someone had already prayed for him, but the man next to him said that he would like prayer.

As of the girls was praying for him the Lord gave me a word for him. After she was done praying for healing I shared what I felt like the Lord was feeling about him. When I finished he told me thank you with the sort of voice that sounded as if he were about to cry. I knew that the Lord had opened up a opportunity to share the gospel with him. So I was able to present the salvation message of Jesus to him and lead him in a prayer of acceptance of Christ into his life. After finishing this one of the girls asked him if he had struggled with thoughts of depression at all. He said that he was currently on anti-depressiants and often felt unhappy, or upset. The girl in our group shared with him that she had been delivered of 16 years of suicidal thoughts, and that the Lord desired to heal him emotionally as well. We were able to pray for him for this as well, and after finishing he lifted up his face and it was as if we were looking at a different person. He was so happy and told us he felt much different on the inside, that he actually felt happiness and joy! As we walked away he was smiling so big, and what a joy in all of our hearts that this man had stepped into the family of Christ, and was no longer bound by depression!

That same day I actually shared the good news of Jesus on the subway on our way to Harvard. After I finished a couple of the girls from our team shared a few testimonies and offered to pray for anyone that needed healing in their body. A girl on the subway responded to the call for healing, and ended up receiving Jesus into her life that day as well!

Finally arriving at Harvard we split up into different groups and started talking to different people in the area. Our group was walking in the park right next to the campus talking to people sitting in on the benches.

As we were walking I felt like the Lord highlighted a couple that was sitting on a park bench. As I started conversation with the couple I asked them if there was anything they needed prayer for, as I did they both started crying, and could not believe that the Lord knew they needed encouragement and sent someone to pray for them. It was so amazing to see the Lord's perfect leadership, and how this divine appointment was so timely! They were both christians and going through a rough time in their marriage and really needed a word from the Lord. We were able to prophecy over both of them and pray for them. As I walked away I was in awe of the Lord how in His perfect leadership, this couple who was 2,000 miles away from home visiting Boston needed a word, and me being 1,500 miles from KC meet in the park at just the same moment! God's leadership still never ceases to amaze me!!! The way He cares so much about the needs of His people.

That is just to share a few experiences that I had while in Boston, the Lord absolutely blew me away as I watched heart after heart come into the knowledge of the Lord's saving grace. Each night as we met back together and shared different stories of what the Lord did, it was so encouraging to hear the stories of the Lord breaking into lives and bringing restoration and healing! What an AMAZING trip!


Monday, April 5, 2010

In Boston

I drove 24 hours over the past 2 days with 3 other people from my school in Kansas City, and am now in Boston for the next week doing different evangelism projects and school evangelism outreaches. Please pray for our teams here in Boston as there are about 400 students from my school here participating in this outreach. The Lord is going to do some amazing things this next week. I'm excited to be apart of it!

Strength & Honor,
Grace & Peace.


Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sweet Picture

I took this picture on Saint Patricks day. I love it!
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Tuesday, March 30, 2010


To ache, to long. I've been in this constant state of burning desire for the Lord over the past few months. It's been like life wouldn't be worth living at all if I wasn't pursuing something of eternal weight. That deep desire within all of our hearts to pursue deeper things that will truly satisfy our hearts, I've been finding more and more as I give myself to spending time with the Lord in the mornings and seeking Him in the quiet place. I don't want that aching and longing to be satisfied by keeping myself so busy that I don't make time for it. I know that hunger can only be filled by one thing alone, and that is getting to know my heavenly Father and the way he desires to spend time with me.

Hunger for the things of God is something that is placed within each one of us, and depending on what we are filling our time with actually determines the degree that we feel that hunger. To the degree that we don't have a burning desire for a raw, vivid, alive relationship with our heavenly Father, is to the degree that our Spirit has been dulled by the temporary pleasures of this world. What are we filling our time up with? We can sit in front of TV screens, computers, entertainment of any kind and try to get away from that hunger for something that would satisfy, but we actually need to embrace that hunger, and run into relationship with a real God that really desires each one of us individually!

"Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be filled." Matthew 5:6 When we are hungry for righteousness, for holy things, when we partner with that deep cry echoing from within our hearts that is screaming, "Father I desire to be filled with something that would not leave me feeling empty!" When we wake up a few minutes earlier just to spend some time with the Lord, we create a capacity in our hearts that has been stuffed full of everything else we've been trying to fill ourselves with. Us slowing down and actually wanting to spend time filling ourselves with things from the Word of God actually creates in us room for God to fill us with something! When we create that space and ask, our good Father in Heaven says that He WILL fill us.

A quote from Saint Angela when she was in a place of hungering and desiring the deeper things of the Lord. The Lord said to her, "Make yourself a capacity and I will make myself a torrent." What a promise! The Lord was saying, make room in your dull heart, and I will come like a rushing river and fill you! I want to always keep this gift of longing and desire for the deeper things alive and thriving in my heart! I don't want to let my spirit get dulled and tainted by what this world would say fills. I know that this world has nothing to offer me that will cause my heart to grow in love. I want to fill myself up on things that will last eternally! Another quote that is astounding to me!

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need of further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still...Amen." A. W. Tozer

This is the desire of my heart right now. I want to want, I long to be filled with longing. I am ashamed of my lack of desire! When we experience the embrace and touch of the Lord, it both satisfies our hearts, but leaves us longing and desiring more of Him. It's a continuous ride of seeking the Lord out, finding and experiencing Him again, but in return leaving us with a deeper longing in our hearts to find whole heartedness in Him and Him alone.

My heart aches, it burns, it's on fire for something that would not leave me feeling empty, but that would fill my heart and cause me to grow in Love for others and myself.

Strength and Honor,
Grace and Peace.